Unconscious Parenting: How the Mom Stole Easter
There are two types of parents in the world, those who like hiding easter eggs and those who don’t.
My wife doesn’t care for it a bit. Whereas, I really get into it. I like finding clever nooks that make some eggs nearly disappear. I like the feeling of quiet readiness before the children explode onto the scene. And I love watching the younger kids stop and start along the obvious breadcrumb trails I’ve left.
This story is about a friend of ours who doesn’t enjoy hiding eggs, and didn’t have to. She and her daughter stumbled into an easter egg adventure, complete with a disappearing act of their own.
Scene of the Find
Our friend—let’s call her Jen—took her four-year-old daughter to the park on a sunny afternoon just before Easter.
After freeing Addie from her car seat, Jen held her hand across the parking lot and then turned her loose to explore a short, wooded trail. They soon emerged from the shade into a small clearing just out of sight of the nearby parking lots.
Jen brushed pollen off the bench of a picnic table, took out her phone and sat with her back against the table. Addie explored the clearing and its edges, while Jen kept an eye on her and began texting with friends.
Easter Magic
“Mommy, look!” Addie said, suddenly beside her holding open a yellow, plastic Easter egg with a melted Hershey’s Kiss inside.
“Yeah. Where’d you find that?” she said, glancing up.
“In the grass.”
“OK. Don’t eat it. It looks like it’s been here a while.”
Addie set the egg on the other end of the picnic table and went back to exploring. Over the next half hour, Jen became immersed in a lively group text, grateful that Addie was keeping herself occupied and only vaguely aware that she’d found more eggs.
Bounty & Instinct
Having just sent her friends a link to the double rainbow song, Jen looked up to check on Addie.
She had devoted just enough brain power to monitor that Addie was nearby and contentedly alive. But Jen had lost track of the time and was shocked to see a massive pile of at least a hundred eggs collected on the picnic table. Addie had been busy.
Bringing more neurons on line, Jen’s brain had nearly put the pieces together when she heard a chorus of screaming children in the distance.
Oh no.
She turned and looked up the hill to where she knew there was another parking lot. Through the trees she saw the first of what sounded like an army of children crashing down through the woods, easter baskets gripped in their sweaty little palms.
Could she re-hide the eggs? Not even if she wanted to.
Addie was looking at her with a blank stare. She had to do something. She pointed at the trail back to the car.
“Addie, run!”
Hindsight 20/20
After buckling Addie into her car seat, Jen may or may not have burned rubber on the way out of the park.
“I forgot my eggs, Mommy.”
“That’s OK. We’ve got more at home.”
Addie’s in 7th grade now, and Jen’s had several years to reflect on the valuable lesson this episode offered. Here it is, just in time for Easter: Whether you do or don’t like hiding eggs, if you leave them unattended, that’s on you.
Author’s Note: I’m starting a series of funny parenting stories like this. If you’ve got one to share, leave me a note in the comments!
About the Author
Bart King is the author of three children’s picture books with illustrator Jacob Wenzka. The most recent book, Do NOT Read This Book At Bedtime, was published in December 2018.